Following is an article on domestic violence. if you need help, call 559-320-7028 or email me at jolleysmith@gmail.com. An attorney is here to help.
Do You Need Domestic Violence Help?
by: Rudy Silva
Contrary to what most people believe, domestic violence can be in the form of physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and verbal abuse. There are also other types of abuses like financial, which is rarely heard of in households. Regardless of the type of abuse domestic violence help becomes necessary.
Domestic abuse is defined as the sum of abusive behaviors - physical, emotional, sexual and verbal. The assault does not recognize gender, race, and marital status. It can occur to anybody regardless of ethnic, cultural and educational background.
Why domestic abuse occurs is related to both parties involved. Both parties involved have psychological needs that need to be filled. Psychiatrists reveal that perpetrators want to dominate their victims, punish them against minor or even non-existent sins, and gain control over them. All these can be accomplished using threats, force, coercion and psychological abuse.
Domestic violence help is mostly given to individuals who are either abused at home, at work or anywhere else where the victim becomes helpless and extremely traumatized. Physical abuse is the most common type of violence. It is also the most deadly and visible.
It can start from small gesture like shoving during an argument or grabbing your wrist. However, over time, it can become severe and more frequent. Physical abuses can include slapping, boxing, kicking, and shoving. Also, acts such as choking, pinching, pulling hair, punching, and throwing things.
At worst, perpetrators burn their victims or strangle them, pin them against the wall, bed or floor. When abuse exists within marriage, the abuse can be debilitating, and when left without help, can result to death.
Sexual abuse can also be considered for domestic violence help. At times, sexual abuse is linked to physical. They may occur together-the sexual abuse comes after an episode of physical abuse. Sexual abuse includes sexual exploitation like forcing a victim to look at pornographic material or forcing a victim to participate in such acts.
Other forms of sexual abuse are sexual assault and sexual harassment. Sexual assault refers to an act of forcing a victim to participate in unsafe, degrading or unwanted sexual activity, while sexual harassment is about ridiculing a victim to limit their reproductive and sexuality choices or to make your victim feel inferior about his or her sexual capacity.
Domestic violence help is also given to victims who have received emotional abuse from their perpetrators. The impact of emotional abuse covers mental and psychological, and it can be verbal or non-verbal. Non-verbal consists of subtle actions or behaviors.
Domestic violence help from Verbal or non-verbal abuse is more damaging than physical abuse, according to studies. This may include threats or intimidation to gain compliance, destruction of the victim’s personal possessions.
Do You Need Domestic Violence Help?
Name-calling, saying hurtful things and blaming the victim of how the abuser feels or acts can make the victims feels there is no other way out of the relationship. These are among the complaints of victims who received domestic violence.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
State Divorce Laws: California
Residency and Filing Requirements: To file a divorce, residency requirements apply. The requirements are as follows:
A One of the parties must be a resident for six month and of the county in which the proceeding is filed for three months next preceding the filing of the petition.
The Petition for Dissolution of Marriage must declare the appropriate California grounds upon which the dissolution of marriage is being sought. The appropriate lawful ground will be that which the parties agree upon and can substantiate, or that which the filing spouse desires to prove to the court. The dissolution of marriage grounds are as follows:
Dissolution of the marriage or legal separation of the parties may be based on either of the following grounds, which shall be pleaded generally: (a) Irreconcilable differences, which have caused the irremediable breakdown of the marriage. (b) Incurable insanity.
Irreconcilable differences are those grounds which are determined by the court to be substantial reasons for not continuing the marriage and which make it appear that the marriage should be dissolved.
A marriage may be dissolved on the grounds of incurable insanity only upon proof, including competent medical or psychiatric testimony, that the insane spouse was at the time the petition was filed, and remains, incurably insane.
No dissolution of marriage granted on the ground of incurable insanity relieves a spouse from any obligation imposed by law as a result of the marriage for the support of the spouse who is incurably insane, and the court may make such order for support. (California Code - Sections: 2310)
Residency and Filing Requirements: To file a divorce, residency requirements apply. The requirements are as follows:
A One of the parties must be a resident for six month and of the county in which the proceeding is filed for three months next preceding the filing of the petition.
The Petition for Dissolution of Marriage must declare the appropriate California grounds upon which the dissolution of marriage is being sought. The appropriate lawful ground will be that which the parties agree upon and can substantiate, or that which the filing spouse desires to prove to the court. The dissolution of marriage grounds are as follows:
Dissolution of the marriage or legal separation of the parties may be based on either of the following grounds, which shall be pleaded generally: (a) Irreconcilable differences, which have caused the irremediable breakdown of the marriage. (b) Incurable insanity.
Irreconcilable differences are those grounds which are determined by the court to be substantial reasons for not continuing the marriage and which make it appear that the marriage should be dissolved.
A marriage may be dissolved on the grounds of incurable insanity only upon proof, including competent medical or psychiatric testimony, that the insane spouse was at the time the petition was filed, and remains, incurably insane.
No dissolution of marriage granted on the ground of incurable insanity relieves a spouse from any obligation imposed by law as a result of the marriage for the support of the spouse who is incurably insane, and the court may make such order for support. (California Code - Sections: 2310)
THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT DIVORCE
When you had your child or children your life changed from being focused on yourself to suddenly having to consider how all your life choices would impact the kids. That is the way it should be. What is in the child's best interest should always be a parent's top priority especially when considering divorce. The first thing you should know is our adversarial legal system is not child focused or family friendly. The emotional and financial price you pay when you each hire separate divorce lawyers is higher than you can now imagine.
Before I became a divorce attorney I was a special education teacher. My Masters is in Special Education, focusing on teaching severely emotionally disturbed children, so I came to the law with a powerful bias to act only in the best interest of the children. The 2nd important fact to know is how comfortable so many divorce lawyers are in spending their client's college fund instead of quickly and economically helping the couple to negotiate a fair deal. After 8 years of litigation and witnessing the total financial and emotional devastation of too many families I vowed to no longer take adversarial divorces and to do only divorce mediation. In the following 3 years, after working with over 150 couples with 100% success rate, I am convinced that divorce mediation should be the solution of first resort for 85% of the couples who are contemplating divorce. So the 3rd thing you need to know is there is an alternative to divorce court, mediation.
It is easier to deal with a situation when basic information is already known. In the 8 community property states (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin) property division is pretty clear. What ever was totally owned prior to marriage or received by gift or inheritance is separate property that goes to the spouse who owns it. If it was partially paid for using wages or income earned during the marriage, the “community" gains an interest in it that can be calculated. Division of property in community property states is one of the easiest issues to deal with because it is so clear cut. But what about the other 42 states? These states use an equitable distribution system to divide marital property. Each state has its own rules that can be ascertained prior to starting the divorce process. So there is some uncertainty in non community property states but an experienced lawyer/mediator generally knows what the court will do in most situations and can be a valuable guide to couples who are unfamiliar with the laws. The 4th thing to keep in mind is that there is no point in fighting over property division. You can protect your co-parenting relationship and end up with more property if you divide everything the way a neutral 3rd party (mediator) suggests.
In litigated divorce cases, child custody and visitation issues can be the most contentious and emotional. If the parents can agree to a custody arrangement, which they eventually do in 90% of custody cases, they can avoid court altogether. Why should a couple wait until they are on the courthouse steps to make a deal? Only 10% of custody cases are litigated. A couple could always seek the services of a child therapist to advise them instead of going to court. The courts typically apply a “best interest of the child" standard in determining who should get primary custody. Wouldn't the parents themselves be in the best position to decide how their children should be raised? When a couple works together in mediation they are in control of the final outcome, not lawyers or judges. When the couple has an intention to effectively co-parent by always keeping the best interest of the child foremost in their mind, they will produce a much more satisfying outcome than if a solution is imposed upon them from above. Child custody issues are the most inappropriate issues to be decided within an adversarial system. The win/lose game that is played in court always results in tension between the parents. Not only will this tension negatively affect the health and happiness of the parents but the children will be caught in the middle of a battle, ducking verbal and emotional bullets as they fly over their heads. The adversarial system does not protect the co-parenting relationship of parents and should be avoided if at all possible. An emotionally vulnerable client in the hands of a “zealous advocate" who is more concerned with enriching themselves than in helping their client is a dangerous combination. The last thing to keep in mind is that avoiding divorce attorneys and court should be the #1 priority if you want to protect your health, spirit, co-parenting relationship and pocketbook.
Ms. Rachman has been a family law attorney since 1996. For more information about how divorce mediation works please go to http://www.divorce-inaday.com where you can hear a very informative audio program about the differences between mediation and litigation. If you are considering divorce it is important to have all the information before you proceed. You only get one chance to have a “good" divorce and you owe it to your children to consider mediation.
Before I became a divorce attorney I was a special education teacher. My Masters is in Special Education, focusing on teaching severely emotionally disturbed children, so I came to the law with a powerful bias to act only in the best interest of the children. The 2nd important fact to know is how comfortable so many divorce lawyers are in spending their client's college fund instead of quickly and economically helping the couple to negotiate a fair deal. After 8 years of litigation and witnessing the total financial and emotional devastation of too many families I vowed to no longer take adversarial divorces and to do only divorce mediation. In the following 3 years, after working with over 150 couples with 100% success rate, I am convinced that divorce mediation should be the solution of first resort for 85% of the couples who are contemplating divorce. So the 3rd thing you need to know is there is an alternative to divorce court, mediation.
It is easier to deal with a situation when basic information is already known. In the 8 community property states (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin) property division is pretty clear. What ever was totally owned prior to marriage or received by gift or inheritance is separate property that goes to the spouse who owns it. If it was partially paid for using wages or income earned during the marriage, the “community" gains an interest in it that can be calculated. Division of property in community property states is one of the easiest issues to deal with because it is so clear cut. But what about the other 42 states? These states use an equitable distribution system to divide marital property. Each state has its own rules that can be ascertained prior to starting the divorce process. So there is some uncertainty in non community property states but an experienced lawyer/mediator generally knows what the court will do in most situations and can be a valuable guide to couples who are unfamiliar with the laws. The 4th thing to keep in mind is that there is no point in fighting over property division. You can protect your co-parenting relationship and end up with more property if you divide everything the way a neutral 3rd party (mediator) suggests.
In litigated divorce cases, child custody and visitation issues can be the most contentious and emotional. If the parents can agree to a custody arrangement, which they eventually do in 90% of custody cases, they can avoid court altogether. Why should a couple wait until they are on the courthouse steps to make a deal? Only 10% of custody cases are litigated. A couple could always seek the services of a child therapist to advise them instead of going to court. The courts typically apply a “best interest of the child" standard in determining who should get primary custody. Wouldn't the parents themselves be in the best position to decide how their children should be raised? When a couple works together in mediation they are in control of the final outcome, not lawyers or judges. When the couple has an intention to effectively co-parent by always keeping the best interest of the child foremost in their mind, they will produce a much more satisfying outcome than if a solution is imposed upon them from above. Child custody issues are the most inappropriate issues to be decided within an adversarial system. The win/lose game that is played in court always results in tension between the parents. Not only will this tension negatively affect the health and happiness of the parents but the children will be caught in the middle of a battle, ducking verbal and emotional bullets as they fly over their heads. The adversarial system does not protect the co-parenting relationship of parents and should be avoided if at all possible. An emotionally vulnerable client in the hands of a “zealous advocate" who is more concerned with enriching themselves than in helping their client is a dangerous combination. The last thing to keep in mind is that avoiding divorce attorneys and court should be the #1 priority if you want to protect your health, spirit, co-parenting relationship and pocketbook.
Ms. Rachman has been a family law attorney since 1996. For more information about how divorce mediation works please go to http://www.divorce-inaday.com where you can hear a very informative audio program about the differences between mediation and litigation. If you are considering divorce it is important to have all the information before you proceed. You only get one chance to have a “good" divorce and you owe it to your children to consider mediation.
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